We all know that a breakup is hard, but it’s even harder when it comes to deciding who will get your beloved dog or cat. How does a pet custody decide when to end a relationship with a pet?

When a couple breaks up, tough conversations inevitably arise. Who keeps the couch? Who can stay in your apartment? But after years of sharing custody of pets, things get even more complicated. Whether you adopted a kitten together or you’ve been bonding with your partner’s dog for years, chances are you’ll suddenly say goodbye to a familiar animal. part of your family It hurts my heart.

As such, it is becoming increasingly common for pet parents to treat shared pet custody in the same way they treat child custody when separated. That means signing a pet custody contract.

In an ideal situation, custody arrangements are amicable. Sometimes it feels like decisions are being made for you, such as when only one of your partners has the time or space to be the primary caregiver of your pet. Or another equally affectionate joint who maintains amicable relations to the point that the couple shares joint custody and is always ready and willing to take care of their pets when they are out for the weekend. You may also enjoy the benefits of having a caretaker.

Unfortunately, not all breakups are so easy. Some breakups can and do lead to legal battles over pet custody. Unlike family law, where many factors are considered to determine what is best for a separated child’s well-being, pets are usually given less consideration. In most places, pets are considered property and awarded to whoever has the strongest claim to ownership, based on adoption papers, veterinary bills, microchipped information, etc.

Whenever possible, it’s best to avoid legal action and have an honest discussion with your ex about what’s best for your pet.

When it comes time to enter into a pet custody agreement, you should consider the pros and cons of joint or sole custody of an individual pet with each partner. Each dog or cat has its own needs and preferences, so you need to consider how strongly all elements of a custody agreement affect your dog or cat.

Pros and Cons of Co-Management of Pets

• Pros: Your pet will be able to maintain relationships with both loved ones.
• Pros: Tailoring custody schedules based on your availability allows your pet to have maximum involvement and spend less time alone while humans are at work.
• Pros: Greater flexibility to have another loving care for your pet when you need a sitter.
• Cons: Worrying pets may find it stressful to switch places frequently.
• Cons: Distance between households can make joint custody impractical.
• Cons: Joint custody agreements require more contact if you have a disputed relationship with your ex.
• Cons: Consistency in discipline and rules between two households can be difficult and can lead to even more pet confusion.

Pros and Cons of Sole Custody for Pets

• Pro: Having one primary caregiver have full custody may mean pets can be in the home they know and love full-time (which for cats is especially important).
• Pros: A partner who is good at caring for pets can provide the most comfortable environment for them (think play spaces, free time together, savings accounts for expensive veterinary bills, etc.).
• Pro: If your pet is clearly close to one partner (which hurts, but it’s natural), they’re likely to be happiest with that partner all the time. .
• Advantages: One home and one caretaker can provide stability for a pet that doesn’t like change.
• Disadvantages: Pets have little or no contact with their previous owners, which can be distressing and confusing in intimate relationships.

It is important to note that these custody arrangements can be adjusted as best suits you. You can share custody, but only for her one day a week when your partner, who has a busier schedule, is off work. While it may seem preferable to make her one of the primary caregivers for stability, the other partner can visit the pet and stay with the pet to preserve the relationship. Allow yourself time. These decisions ultimately come down to your relationship and what makes sense for your pet.

The basic decision-making process should be the same in considering what is best for each animal, but relationships between pets add additional variables.

Do your pets get along with each other? If so, keeping them together should be your priority. This can complicate joint custody arrangements and result in more pets having to travel back and forth.

Furthermore, one pet may be a sociable pet who does not mind moving between homes, while another may be highly anxious and need stability in one home. I have. It is possible to share custody of one pet and leave one of hers with the primary caretaker, but you should evaluate whether the arrangement is functional and beneficial to the pet. everyone involvement.

On the other hand, if the relationship between pets is always contentious, it may be best to divide them between the two people who primarily care for them. In cases like this, it can be difficult for the humans involved to decide who gets which pet, but the ultimate decision should come down to where each pet is happiest. In some cases, this arrangement can provide comfort for both partners as each partner can stay with at least one of her beloved pets.

What if, after weighing all the options, you and your ex decided it was best for you and your ex to take a pet? This can be a devastating but important decision. I have. Losing an animal is incredibly painful, even when you know you are doing the right thing for the animal you love. It’s okay to grieve over death.

Be kind to yourself throughout the process and take time to emotionally process this breakup with your partner. and your pet. It may be helpful to review the literature and treatments for pet bereavement. Even if you know your pet is alive and well somewhere else, tools for dealing with sudden and severe loss can still help you process the traumatic event you’re going through. .

Big life changes like this can be difficult, but knowing you’re doing the best for your pet can help you move forward with confidence. For an amicable farewell and happy pets and friends.